im a new person since I was posting before I found something in life you cant find online I was trying to find who I was on tumblr and instagram its been almost a year now since I last tried to kill myself and im doing a lot better on that end and to be honest I am actually happy for once and when I think about how happy I am it feel forign to me I just do what I want now I don't determine any aspect of what I do on others I don't pretend to like something or act a certan way because of people ive come into my own in the outdoors I am an avid kayaker now and am out fishing on it every day almost ive had one job since I last posted and im just starting another now I quit a company called sweetwaters donut mill because I worked my ass off for them and never felt apriciated by anyone so I quit because I have more self worth than what they think I just started at a new upper scale Asian restaurant that mixes different Asian quizene im a expoer and I don't cook but im the inbetween from the waiters and cooks

Beats

The space where my cold lifeless heart is has felt a warm murmur once again but yet it still remains cold and scared in the blackness under my ribs pondering apprehensively at weather or not to beat to the rythem of the this almost familiar but yet so foreign inviting feeling

Blossom

With a light streaming through a crack in the shade emanating glorious rays of pure natural light into a quiet tranquil still room projecting
The most pure and true beam of warmth cutting through the almost still dust in the air just creeping ever closer to the blossom of a beautiful flower who longs for the light to reach it and make it grow and blossom but the sparseness of light deprives it and forces her so stay inside the confines of the waning glow piercing through the little crack in the blinds but
The beautiful flower knows that one day it will blossom in the full power and awe of the sun and will then spread its pedals to feel the basking warmth for witch it has so longed