Awake

Why am I still awake? I am a professional insomniac. The feeling of rest never comes to me even when I do rarely sleep its not restful. I long for a restful night sleep bit I am suffered to minuscule blinks of my eyes. I never dream anymore. At this point a nightmare would be a God send. Something other than just closing my eyes and opening them a wink later would be a start. I am not depressed I am not happy I am calm and yet I am not at peace. There is nothing in particular bothering me no logic or reason to why I am awake. This is going no where and I do not know why. I don't remember what its like to sleep. I feel as if I am so used to having something plague my mind that I don't know what to do now that I'm alright. Its almost as if there is something still bothering me but its so deep inside me I don't even recognize it as a issue because its been engraved to who I am. Perhaps I am just broken and now I'm comfortable being this way.